Someone I know once said something along the lines of "childhood is like the paradise we are all destined to lose in one way or another." I thought it was cheesy then, but maybe I was still in my later stages of childhood at the time- who knows? Come to think of it though, applying the Genesis allegory to childhood proves rather insightful. There are a lot of similarities between Eden and childhood. Most striking, of course, is that knowledge inevitably banishes us from Eden almost literally.
It used to annoy me when people talked about how children are innocent, have no care in the world, and how everything was so much easier and happier as a child (of course, I've realized that not all can relate to this image of childhood unfortunately). But I've come to see that this is largely very true. When I look at pictures of children I know, the way they smile is much different than the way that adults smile. When children are happy, their entire bodies radiate a complete happiness whereas when adults are happy, their smiles seem more like a momentary distraction from the darker realities of life.
When I think about my own experience of life, I feel like I am generally happy and grateful for everything that I have--but at the same time, there is this constant awareness of the general sadness and cruelty in the world that I cannot get out of my mind. Even when my life is at its high points (and I have literally no reason to feel anything but happiness), I am still reminded of the fact that other people are suffering and that life is hard for everyone. And life is hard. It is so much more brutal than I had imagined it as a child (and I say this with the recognition that I have been much luckier than most). From the moment we are born, we are all destined to endless toiling with loss, tragedy, disappointments, inadequacies, etc. Sure, much of it has to do with the fact that humans suffer from chronic dissatisfaction- but at the same time, that dissatisfaction isn't always unwarranted.
A lot of shit happens throughout the course of one's life. And while many philosophies and religions try to explain these things by referring to a greater plan or purpose, there are still many things that I don't think can be explained. Like why are some innocent children born into misery? Why do some parents lose their child much before their time? Why do some people lose their jobs when they're barely making ends meet? Why are some people disfigured or diseased in the very prime of their life? And why do so few people ever realize the full extent of their potential? Etc. etc. There are many things like this that I don't understand. You see, I understand suffering…but I don't understand why there is so much pointless suffering.
I borrowed the title for my blog post from the title of a book I've been meaning to read by Milan Kundera. With limited knowledge of the book's content, I'm still very fascinated by the title since I feel that it perfectly describes the nuances of adult life. Most times, it does feel that there is an unbearable lightness to just being. It's as if we all float through this thick atmosphere of sadness against which we are completely powerless. All we can do is find some funny joke, moment of happiness, or memory of better times in order to distract us from our painful suspension within this atmosphere that we didn't even ask to get thrown into in the first place. I truly cannot understand why there is so much suffering and sadness in the world. Sometimes I think it has to do with money, or power, or greed - but it's much more complicated than that and it most often seems rather random and unexplainable.
I may sound like I'm trying to get at some sort of answer or truth about life -- but the truth is that people have been trying to understand suffering for thousands of years and I'm definitely not about to come up with some sort of prophetic understanding. At most, all I can do is contribute my own questions and musing to this never-ending quest to understand life and its hardships.
All that I really know is that the beauty of childhood (for those who are lucky enough to retain their innocence long enough) is the fact that children are oblivious to the crude suffering and sadness that is a part of life. It is the fact that when an adult tells a child that "everything will be ok," that child can still whole-heartedly believe that everything will be ok. Children have the capacity to see beauty untainted by the harsher realities of life. That is why I think it is very accurate to compare childhood to paradise--in many ways, it is a paradise. And yet, the knowledge of reality that inevitably comes with maturity is what marks the end of childhood. From then on, I suppose that, as one ages, one only becomes ever more aware of how far from paradise real life truly is. I wonder if part of the desire to have children (apart from the biological desire) has to do with adults longing to see the world through a child's eyes? Maybe having children provides satisfaction, not just for perpetuating one's line etc, but also because it allows the parents to revisit, to some extent, their lost paradise through the eyes of their children?
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